Why do I find myself looking back often at my ancestors' earliest times when our somewhat frazzled planet wasn’t quite so frazzled as it is today. I guess it’s because there’s so much fake, frivolous and flamboyant news today. It only seems logical then, to circumvent all the din of today’s news a person should go back to the beginning, when my first ancestor Clem climbed down from his treehouse stood upright, looked around and said “Come on down Myrtle I think from now on we’re going to sleep under our tree rather than in it”. As Clem looked around for something to eat, no longer able to eat nuts and berries from his old tree, he picked up a rock between his thumb (every wannabe human has to have one) and his index finger and threw it at a poor ground dwelling creature. Wouldn’t you know it, with some luck and a little skill he hit his prey right on his noggin and the first meat dinner came into being. Now I don’t know how long Clem and Myrtle were satisfied with small animals, various insects and nuts like acorns as their diet. But when Clem befriended some others who had recently climbed down from their trees to form a tribe. I think the issue of a diet that would include eating game animals that were bigger and faster than Clem and friends and how to catch one was discussed around the campfire. So now with several heads to ponder an altogether new way to kill most any kind of food bearing animal it wasn’t long before the Bow and Arrow was invented and when it was the sky was the limit. Can you imagine the pluck and courage it took for Clem and friends to take their new bows and arrows and walk up to a mega ton Wooly Mammoth and shoot him with how many arrows I can’t begin to guess before he toppled over. But once the deed was done from everything I can imagine they must have had many many barbecue dinners, enough that one day Myrtle said “Clem I’m tired of always eating Woolly Burgers so I’ve planted a few seeds from some grass that grows nearby and I want you to try this broth that I made”.
“Myrtle, please don’t give me too much, I may not like it. Mmmm why that’s pretty good maybe while I’m out hunting you can grow a garden”.
Okay folks so this is how I believe our taste for different foods got started so don’t confuse me with contrary facts for I’m sticking to my story.
I’m going to fast forward now to Rice Krispies and Taco Time and all of the other almost infinite kinds of junk food out there. Thoroughly modern Myrtle tells “live in Clem” I don’t want you using my money, anymore, to go deer hunting with your friends and if you happen to kill a deer or catch a fish don’t bring them to this house as I no longer eat meat, fish or fowl which means you no longer need your rifle, fishing rod or shotgun.
As Clem glances in his rear view mirror with his bedroll, rifle, fishing rod and shotgun tied down nicely in the back of his pick up and a 6 pack of beer on the back seat he says “See Ya Myrtle, don’t forget to eat plenty of B12, Calcium, iron, and whatever other micronutrients you are missing so your Turkey wattle under your chin will stay nice and healthy”.
“Yeah and good riddance to you Clem and your Pot Belly, that if it gets any bigger all the buttons on your shirt are going to bust loose”. Myrtle is exhilarated as she shouts free, free, free at last, to eat healthy meals till her heart’s content. Now it’s Clem’s turn. I don’t know why she took to the no meat diet when she knew that her macho husband wouldn’t deny her plenty of meat and potatoes for dinner. I think Myrtle’s problem got started with the 24 hours a day of fake news and the afternoon talk shows that were always selling some magic potion that make you live so long, you might wish you were dead. Hey Myrtle wherever you are, if you think that it’s cruel to eat animals that turn grass from pastures that are too rugged to cultivate into healthy animal protein, think what would happen if we all adopted a no meat lifestyle. Have you thought of all the added land that would have to be plowed and fertilized then sprayed with pesticides and herbicides so everybody could eat veggies all the time.
Most vegetable crops that are grown today are started from a seed in a nursery and when the plant is old enough to survive, out in the open, it’s then transplanted. So I’m going to ask you Myrtle, if you can transplant a vegetable and we agree that it will live through the process then it must follow that an onion as an example that gets jerked from its life-giving bed of soil, at the most robust time in its life to then be crammed in a sack with a lot of other helpless onions, delivered to a packing house to be cleaned and then thrown into a big burlap sack and if you live on the east coast hauled a couple of thousand miles so that “you” might have an onion to eat. Myrtle, I have a curiosity? Do you think Mr. Onion is trying to tell you of his pain as you cut him in half with your knife and your eyes start shedding tears and your nose is running a river. Do you hear him cry? Myrtle, is the world a better place now that you no longer eat meat?