I just deleted myself

I was just finishing entering words into my iPad to end a quite lengthy blog about the importance of food to eat, water to drink, and a safe comfy place to sleep. Well I got pretty in depth about the need for those things, so that when I read it back to myself I thought “Jack it sounds fine to someone that wants to spend all day looking at a blade of grass and pondering how all seven billion of us are going to survive on planet Earth when our habits are so destructive. At the end of the day I wanted to shout out “More grass! Less pavement!" but my explanation was far too detailed and as I reread what I had to say, I caught myself nodding off. Maybe my subconscious mind was telling me “Jack press the delete key and knock this monotonous piece of fact and fantasy in the head.” So here comes the abbreviated version.

Have any of you out there heard of how our lives are dependent on the number 3? The first 3 that’s necessary for survival, is that most of us can’t go much longer than three minutes without air to breathe. 2nd is a place to get out of the cold. As an example, a man gets drunk at his home wearing a Speedo and his lady, also drunk in a bikini, decide to dash outside with a Devil-May-Care attitude, looking for the Wizard of Oz’s yellow brick road. But they never find their way and pass out in the cold for about three hours. If you find yourself, also, in the same predicament while dozing on the ground and your core body temperature drops below 95 degrees Fahrenheit it will probably be to late too say “I wish I hadn’t drank that last pint of whiskey.

Next, we all need water to drink but it doesn’t all have to come from one of those infernal plastic water bottles who’s bodies can be seen lying everywhere. Trust your thirst. Our bodies have a sophisticated system for regulating when and how much water to drink from a glass hopefully filled with tap water. But if you do, find yourself out in the desert with nothing to eat or drink for three days and you look up and see turkey vultures circling, it’s probably too late. Last is food, most of us are good for about three weeks without a glazed donut or a pizza but that also means when you look up and see those same big black birds circling overhead and you hear an air traffic controller say to the birds “you’re cleared to land”. Its probably too late.

So what’s to be learned from the number 3 rule? First, don’t mess with Mother Nature! She’s getting real agitated with the way we’re caring for her planet Earth and like the Wicked Witch of the North, if she wishes, she can change us all into Lemmings. So quick, tell me what happens next! Well we couldn’t put our cell phones down long enough to ask for her forgiveness and tell her that we can change, we can do better. Well did we listen?

Probably not because I heard one couple as we were all swimming trying to cross the Arctic Ocean to safety say “That old hag had the nerve to ask me to quit shopping at Costco where I can buy apples wrapped in those clear plastic cocoons that will take hundreds of years to decompose". Some say “it’s the same for the apple inside!” Now her mate chimes in and says “Mother Nature what a bitch. She had the nerve to say building a golf course, planted with real grass, in the middle of a desert, may not be sustainable. Makes me wonder what this sustainable nonsense is all about!!” Well Jack, what do you think, did they make it to the other side? I don’t know, maybe!! I’ve heard tell that some humans have learned how to reinvent themselves.

See Ya


231 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All