Which came first the wheel or the ball?

I’m not real sure, but I do know which brought more joy and which one caused more pain. What do you all think our society would look like if we had wheels only and no balls? Or what would our society look like if we had only balls? (footballs, basketballs, golf balls,8 balls and goof balls.) I’m sure we will never know the exact answers to those questions. But what we do know is what our society looks when we have both wheel and ball. I’ll take women as my example. We men being of fair mind have decided to give women a taste of freedom. These ladies who grew up with a washboard as their hated best friend. So what could we give these noble women that would be a non threatening gift? I’ve got it. Yes I believe I’ve really got it. We can give them a “softball”.Now I don’t know which came first, the softball game or a women’s right to vote but I do think, that about this time the wheels started coming off of male supremacy and something else was starting to come off as well! Because wars have a way of making demands on whatever side you’re on. The need to be the victor and not the vanquished usually brings about changes in our moral code as to what is acceptable behavior. With the end of World War 1 the dress code for women which had the “collar surrounding the Adam’s Apple up and snug” would change. This time the collar button would open on it’s own and for the first time a women’s chest and cleavage was exposed to the light of day. That little bit of light was a game changer for it gave birth to the Flappers of the Roaring 20’s. And they did come a roaring. Dancing the Charleston, showing some leg and male supremacy took another hit. Women of the 30’s didn’t make many strides on the liberation front as they were too busy finding enough food to feed a family and when they did get to ride in a car it was for “taking them to work”. Topsy turvy, I think best describes the coming of the 1940’s and the start of World War 2. Almost overnight a good share of our traditional rules for society got discarded. What with most of the young men of our country off to war. There was a labor gap that needed filling. So who filled this void? Why it was a patriotic woman by the name of ROSIE THE RIVETER. She was the lady who changed her dress for a pair of pants and picked up a rivet gun and with pieces of Aluminum fashioned them into P51 fighters and B29 bombers et al. of which two B29’s carried Atomic Bombs and once dropped ended World War 2. With the war over Rosie puts her dress back on but this time when Johnny comes marching home he soon learns that the way the man/women game is played had changed. For there are now legions of Rosie the Riveters who have been on there own for 3 or 4 years and receiving pay checks each month. By the way they were made payable to first name Rosie last name Riveter and Pandora’s box was not just opened, it had the doors blown off. The 50’s brought a rather tranquil decade maybe because our women of the 40’s welcomed our citizen soldiers home by having so many babies that we had to give them a name like “the baby boomers” It’s the 60’s now and a very unpopular Vietnam War is raging bring out what any war invariably does “the best and the worst in we humans.” Well for Rosie who now had a daughter or 2 or more. These daughters grabbed their Megaphones got in their VW Vans and put a newly invented “The Pill” in their purse and then scattered themselves all over this land of ours. These fireballs, who were hell bent on ending this Vietnam War by whatever means possible, which meant that male supremacy had to take another hit. As these zealous ladies demanded more and more attention from our male law-makers, who by the way, know how to stay in office by reading the “winds of change” Male supremacy was sacrificed again leaving us “physically stronger and you can’t take that away ” Rosie was now playing Softball in the senior league. But she was still able to run after a fly ball or two and if she wanted to she could still deftly chase after a zipper on a fly. The 70’s brought an end to the Vietnam War and President Nixon was impeached. We all needed a timeout and a quieter conservative public attitude was starting to emerge with thoughts of family and children and a more traditional lifestyle that gave birth to “The Soccer Mom” and the leading champion of God and family was President Ronald Reagan. It’s now, “today times” and I don’t know if we’re going Up Up and Away or down, down, down but being the optimist that I am I believe we’re just in foggy times right now, and in a little while the sun will come shining through. We just need to be patient and not fall for those “easy money programs” that our elected representatives use, to first get elected and then re-elected. There will be consequences. The winds of change have been blowing for sometime now and our 3 branches of law-makers have swung into the hands of the Democrats. In the House of Representatives on the Democratic side, there stands a gaggle of newly elected congresswomen all dressed in white. The most ever elected to Congress in the history of our country. Now I don’t know if the white stands for solidarity with a platform of peace not war or maybe it means, “the status quo has got to go” or maybe both. It’s my turn now to give my take on how our journey into tomorrow is going? I have witnessed our humanity change dramatically in my lifetime with differing results, but I believe mostly for the good. But what’s missing is our inability to end our warring ways. So I have an idea that will stop all wars dead in their tracks and nobody dies! But before I divulge my secret, there’s a common thread that weaves its way through this story. I ask all of you out there, are you more ball like and friendly, or are you more comfortable being a follower of the wheel that believes “in strength we shall find peace”? Our ladies have now been re-elected several times to their Congressional seats by hard work and artfulness. They are now powerful enough that they can almost pass any piece of legislation “good or bad” that they desire It’s my time again to ask this room full of estrogen if they really want a lasting peace and an end to our pugnacious ways guaranteed? As I look out upon my audience, I see they’re all wearing the same incredulous look of “what a buffoon, he’s full of shit!”. “Hear me out,” I say I’m so sure of my method, I’ll even sweeten the pot with a guns unnecessary card. Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi emerges from her crowd and says “I don’t believe this is possible but I’m willing to listen”. Well Nancy, first you will have to listen to my “Theory of Reality” it states that there are no free lunches and if one is offered, the string attached to it will deliver a hard blow to one’s character and “to truly get, you have to enjoy giving”. That wasn’t so bad was it? Now, to the question that is before you Congressional ladies, who have one hand on the reins of power and your other hand is held with public support. So the question is, do you want to be greatly tested possibly beyond your wildest imagination? Because if that’s okay some very drastic changes await you and “ we the people”. You know that ball that we have all been throwing, kicking, rolling and hitting for centuries? It will now demonstrate it’s versatility. It’s power will be greater than the Atomic Bomb even the Hydrogen Bomb but nobody has to die. I’m looking at my crowd now and they are really starting to roll their eyes and then somebody shout “you’re a wacko living in la la land”. . But Nancy says “ I’m still listening you’ve got my curiosity in your grip. I’ve got to hear your solution.” Okay, but remember your actions will determine whether this device will be embraced or thrown on the scrapheap of really good ideas that nobody liked. So here we go Nancy. We all know how indispensable the wheel is to our human society. But mightier than the wheel is the Ball Bearing. “Wait a minute, are you pulling my leg?” No but I do hope that we can both get off on the right foot together. So I’m going to draw you a word picture of a Ball Bearing. Here’s the recipe that I use. I start with a larger outside ring and a smaller inside ring then separate them evenly with a circle of very round balls that roll effortlessly around a groove called the race. All then are sealed with a metal and rubber shroud to keep foreign matter out and our bearing is ready to mate with an axel of proper size. Next I want to show you, by way of demonstrations what happens when a couple of balls are removed from the bearing race and thrown away. Watch, it will create immediate pandemonium in the ball bearing world. Which proves my idea that if we stop making Ball Bearings we can bring all the planes trains and automobiles to a grinding halt accompanied by an inferno of screeching turbulence caused when ones “balls are out of round” sending them into an irreversible death spiral ending with a loud cacophony of sound marking the death spot. What follows is a moment of silence and remembrance before the arrival of a gigantic Panic Attack. There’s not an army of any size or shape that would or could march into battle on foot as mutiny would disarm them and how could any general with an ounce of pride be asked to walk into battle without his command car. There will be no need for Admiral’s because there would be no ships to sail and pilots not needed for their planes can’t take wing. Here’s the scenario. Nancy, you as the House Majority Leader will now take the reins of power and I will leave with this thought. Most of humanity recognize that you ladies are the more kind, caring and giving part of Congress and you are also in charge of the power that can stop all wars. So what we need to put a war stopper into action, is a law that would halt the production of Ball Bearings. Yes I said Ball Bearings for without them nothing could go round and round or up and down or side to side and every time something moves, that involves friction, you will most likely need a Ball Bearing. Yup, I guess there’s no getting around the fact that to end all warfare we have to pass a law shuttering all businesses that manufacture Ball Bearings. Obviously, that’s going to mean we will all have to park our love/hate cocoons that we call a car. Just think though, no more traffic jams, no more road rage, and we would bankrupt the car thieves. And finally this shiny monster that was to give us freedom of choice instead gave us the monthly agony of, how to make the car payment? All gone because a Ball Bearing jumped its race. Ah freedom! Now that we have cleansed our selves of all these problems, notice how clean and clear the air is. And just think, when the last car is parked what a huge blow it will be to Global Warming. “Oh my God. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. This fruit cake, this nit wit, he just said we’ll all have to park our cars permanently”. Then somebody else yells “this is nonsensical kick him in one of those balls he talks about”. And another shouts “How are we going to feed our 7 billion people living on Earth?” Then from the back of the chambers a pleasant looking lady with compromise written on her face stands and says “ Maybe we could allow Ball Bearings to be manufactured for tractors to grow crops and ambulances to haul off the sick and the lame only. The Congress lady who couldn’t believe that she was going to have to park her metallic cocoon permanently stands again and says “This will never work, it’s the craziest, dip shit idea I have ever heard, I quit!”

You know folks, I think my idea is what they say at the morgue D.O.A. Dead on Arrival. Probably no more wars was a bad idea. So I’m ready to compromise how about if we just have mini wars then we can all continue to drive our cars!

See Ya Jack

PS. I see just out of your view Nancy. There’s a very large ball with a stairway to the top. If you choose to go to the top, you will find a funnel type opening, there you will join other people from all corners of the planet, who have climbed this “stairway of expectations” to leave swatches of cloth. These scrapes are made using many colors, textures and shades of “possible.” When the ball is full and it will take awhile. Then more people will come to take all these varied pieces of “hope” and will start to sew them with thread made of 100 parts decency and 10 parts indecency. This quilt, this mosaic of differences, when finished, it will be laid out over the land for all to see. Even Space Pilgrims from afar will be able to read the inscription. “WELCOME THIS IS A DECENT PLACE TO LIVE”.



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